Good day ☺️ Ladies, I have a problem after childbirth... with bowel mo…

Good day ☺️ Ladies, I have a problem after childbirth... with bowel movements, sorry for being so awkward asking you about this... In general, I go every 3-5 days, crying all the time... Every time there's blood, such pain each time after using the toilet, like giving birth, only bigger... After that, it hurts to sit down... I'm embarrassed to see a proctologist, but I'm very worried about my awkward situation... Have anyone experienced this? Please tell me what kind of medicine to use to solve this embarrassing situation?