"Oh my god! I feel like I'm going crazy. Pregnant with the second one …

"Oh my god! I feel like I'm going crazy. Pregnant with the second one (12 weeks). The pregnancy was desired. But now it feels like there is none. My eldest is 9 years old and doesn't leave me alone for a step. He doesn't want to go to my father, pushes him away. And I have toxemia, and I always want to sleep, but I can barely sleep with the baby. And this pregnancy is harder than in the first time. My son started to annoy me with the pregnancy, it feels like maternal instincts, feelings all gone. When I think that soon the second will be born and everything will repeat, I go into depression. Am I abnormal? Or is