I just can't not write this, damn girls — like I wrote that I'm afraid…

I just can't not write this, damn girls — like I wrote that I'm afraid of giving birth, and all my relatives are panicking, calling nonstop, texting, and so on. I'm already so scared ? and they scare me even more... besides, partner births aren't allowed right now, what a disaster, damn — how am I not supposed to be even more frightened...